Torgesen Family Times

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I quit... toddler group

This week I quit toddler group.

It hasn't quite turned out the way I thought it would and it has been getting to stressful to be away from work for even that small amount of time. We've lost 4 people in my group at work (we used to have 8) and we have missed timelines already and it's only getting worse. We have much more scrutiny on what we are doing and I don't want to be the one who seems like I'm missing some hours. Especially since all our healthcare benefits come from me being employed.

I feel sad about this decision, but at the same time relieved since it hasn't turned out exactly the way I thought it would. Let me explain...

All of the moms at Toddler Group are SAHM (stay-at-home-moms). Some work part-time, though only a few. I've realized that there is a difference. I don't have the same issues they have and vice-versa. What I thought Toddler Group would be is a place where other Moms in my neighborhood would meet and get to know one another and start friendships, have our children play together on weekends, etc. What I have learned is that the difference between SAHM and WOHM (work-outside-the-home-moms) is that SAHM want their child to be socialized by going to toddler group, and some chatting with other Moms and getting out of the house is nice, too. I wasn't looking specifically to have Alex be socialized, he's gotten his fair share through Daycare and now Preschool. But, I was looking for Mom-freindships. That's the "socializing" I need.

I was talking to Lance about all of this and he asked if I knew of any working moms groups and I said no. I feel like there isn't time in a working mom's life (unless really dedicated and/or outgoing) to do it all.

Morning: get up, get ready for work, get kid(s) ready for work, drive to preschool, drop off, drive to work

Day: work, work, work (for 75% of what a man would make in my same job no less - but that's another subject!)

Evening: pick up kid from preschool, kid usually cranky since it's Mom and it's "safe" and it's the end of the day/hungry, drive home, make/fix dinner, try to have a civilized meal with family, play a bit with kid when all you want to do is put them to bed so you can have some quiet time and feel GUILTY for that feeling, time for bed for kid so put on the bedtime routine, kid falls asleep crying while all you want to do is go to bed as well, but you haven't had any time with your husband and all you want to do anyway is fall asleep. But, you stay up becuase the dishes need to be washed and you do actually need to talk about something with your husband. Brush teeth, wash face, fall asleep at 9:15.


Where does Mom-socializing fit in?

So, I had to laugh a pitiful laugh when Lance asked if there were working moms groups out there. I guess I can't even imagine that there is such a thing out there - but I'm sure it does exist. I'm sure other (more outgoing) people have formed informal groups out there that, I'm sure, are great. I would love to do something like that - I just don't know where I'll find the people to do this with and where I'll find the time.