Torgesen Family Times: Thoughts on Motherhood

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

4 years ago, I had a (almost) 2 month old baby boy named Alex.

Today I have a 4 year old and a 13 month old who are my all, my everything.

I have collected some of my favorite quotes about Mothers today. And my thoughts that go along with them. Enjoy!

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren

I have learned so much over these 4 years. I’ve learned to be comfortable in my new Mom identity, to trust my Mom instincts (they guide us in so many ways), I’ve learned that making the hard decisions where there is no right answer, only the one I make, is tough, but someone has got to do it. I used to second guess my self and not feel sure about the choice I did make, but now I am so much more confident. Having Sara has given me so much strength in what I want for my kids. And more & more each day, to not feel (as) guilty when I take time for myself, to know that I can leave my child for work or a date night and it will be OK (& thank goodness for wonderful caregivers, too), to understand what my child needs from me and when, and when to help them learn things themselves.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is that I can’t “do it all”. I can’t. And I won’t. Something has got to give and if you push and push to “do it all” it will be at you and your kids’ expense. Delegate, Delay, Ask, Say No, Share, Help, Balance are some of the keys I have learned. I’m not saying say no to everything, but just make sure the urgent doesn’t overtake the important too much of the time.

The best advice I can give to Moms is to be in the moment - The best time of your life should be today; what's past is past and the future holds no guarantees. Take videos and pictures, they won’t be like this for long, in fact, they will only be like this today. And when you look back and those videos and pictures, it will seem like yesterday.

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. ~ Jill Churchill

I used to think about being a “good” mother and how to be “good” (vs. “bad”). But, I’ve realized that there is SO many ways to be a good Mom, and being a “good” Mom does NOT mean that you are practically perfect in every way. In fact, just the opposite. I can get mad at my kids and still love them. I can be tired out and need a break. I can leave them with their Dad and (almost) not feel a bit of guilt. I can take time for myself because when I do, I’m a better Mom (for them and for me). I can work and make a living for our family and still be an involved loving Mom.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries (you know it!)

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. ~Jane Sellman

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.
~ Author Unknown (Uhh, this one is totally spot on!)

Remember that behind every successful woman......is a basket of dirty laundry.
~ Author Unknown

Working and having children has become so much easier. It was so difficult for me to go back to work after Alex was born. And sometimes I feel like I work 24/7/365. But, I know all Mothers feel this way (I used to think it was only me). I used to think staying home was “the answer”, but know I know there is no right or wrong answer. Just like there is so many ways to be a “good” mom, there are so many ways to be a good working Mom.

The patience of a mother might be likened to a tube of toothpaste - it's never quite all gone.
~ Author Unknown

Remember that behind every successful woman......is a basket of dirty laundry.
~ Author Unknown

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. ~Charles R. Swindoll

This is part of the reason that I take so many photographs. I remember looking at them when I was a child and into adulthood and remembering small details, like the clothes I wore, my friends, & what I liked to do. The photo visual is so strong, in my opinion, even stronger than sound/stories.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~ Phyllis Diller

(and thank goodness for housecleaners!)