She still sleeps like this

…And I love it!

 

In my head, it’s her saying “I’m guilty… of being too cute”

 

Sweet dreams, my dear

 

Sara stats

We had our first pediatrician visit today and here are Sara’s stats (hmmm… tall and skinny – I wonder where she gets this from):

Height: 21 inches (75th%)
Weight: 7 lbs 2 oz (20th%)
Head: 14 inches (45th%)

She is doing everything just normally – just a healthy happy baby.  She has her days and nights mixed up right now and her tummy/gas bothers her at night.  Last few nights have been feedings at 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1 and then she finally lets me sleep for a bit.  Of course, she is a growing machine right now and that is exactly the way it works – demand increases supply.  But, we are going to be trying to get her outside today and *TRY* to keep her up a bit during the day, instead of being so awake at night.  I would sure appreciate it – instead of staying up all night! 

For fun we took a look at what Alex’s stats – since we were looking at hers:
Alex at 3 years (a big boy – no wonder people mistake him for being 4 years old!)
Height: ~40 inches (95th%)
Weight: ~36 lbs (85th%)


And now for some cute baby pictures!

Sara’s hand – such long fingers

One of Sara’s favorite spots to sleep – in the chair Sara’s feet – such long toes and long feet 

Snuggling with Daddy on another favorite spot – on Daddy’s chest (Daddy’s super top secret weapon to get baby to sleep)

 

And Big Brother Alex – wearing his firefighter (fighter-fighter) hat while watching a firefighter cartoon – a must!

Alex's new bed

Alex never slept in a crib. Not a day in his life. We tried, but he succeeded. So, from our co-sleeping to his own twin mattress on the floor is how it went. We then put the twin mattress on the frame eventually and it worked pretty well. Yes, he did fall off a couple of times, but no permanent damage! Now after about a year of than and going through some more sleeping struggles, after I saw a post on a friends blog (Hi Zoe!) about getting a new full bed for their two year old son and remembering what my Mom would say about having me sleep on a full bed when I was young - I was convinced this is what we needed.

Enter good old Craigslist... I found a really nice bed frame (see above) and like new mattress with two side tables for $200! Lance was a little (means ALOT!) skeptical about spending money after I was just laid off but I had to tell him to trust me. I would sell the twin bed along with some other things and we would be making money!

So, after a little bit of looking around I found the bed and made an offer. Another person had already made on offer and it was accepted but they weren't picking it up for a few days. I convinced the nice people that I was right in Woodinville (they were too) and that I could come pick it up that night! It was a match made in heaven.

I bought a very reasonable new comforter set with sheets and pillow cases from Overstock that I thought would go with the "Underwater" theme of Alex's room. To me, the bedspread looks kinda like kelp. Of course the animals are still up on the wall and Alex loves looking at them and now he even wants to sleep with his Monkey, Bear and Sheep every night. Sometimes there are even race cars involved.

Alex has loved saying "my new bed" and we remind him at night about how he's sleeping in his own new bed. He loves things that are new right now. New vitamins, new shoes, new pants, new bed - anything that is "new" has more of a chance with him.

And of course - the beloved "Dog-Dog" that sleeps with him every night on his new bed with new sheets. The lovey that I forced him to love and now he does. Ahhhh love.

Snuggling

March 2008 "sick boy"

He may have been fighting off a bug or may be getting sick. That may have been the reason for waking up crying last night and wanting to come sleep in Mom and Dad's bed. What ever the reason, once he was there - it was like that was exactly where he needed to be. He hasn't slept in our bed in a long time - I can't even remember the last time.

I carried him into our bedroom with his legs wrapped around my waist while he carried his "dog-dog" lovey with him. I layed him down in between us and he squirmed a bit. It wasn't quite what he wanted and he squirmed a bit more all the while being fairly quiet, not crying. He finally decided that where he wanted to be was on my chest and got himself in just the most comfortable spot, turned his head a few times and passed out.

I was amazed. He hasn't wanted to snuggle like this since the last time he was sick.

His little rosy cheeks so round and warm. His mouth having a dream where he was smiling. His eyes closed and off in dreamland. I am thinking that here is my baby, not so small anymore and although most of the time is too wiggly and and too independant to hug me much anymore, here he is laying on my chest and I'm loving it and soaking up as much as I can. It's so difficult to remember when he was always attached to me and to think of a time when I hadn't held him for hours/days/months. Now he's ~36" tall and hangs down so far when I pick him up and stands so tall against my legs. He's so strong and fearless. A big boy snuggling his Mama. Yet so calm and sweet on my chest. Just where he's meant to be.

Remember random falling asleep-ness?

Sleep anytime - anywhere. Those days are long gone!

These pictures are from last year when Lance would wake up with Alex and take him downstairs in the morning to allow me to sleep a bit longer. Alex would play around for a while, then climb up to Lance and eventually fall asleep. He would fall asleep in funny positions - like this one. Daddy is so confortable!

Sleep

We are realizing our dream of sleepless nights not so long ago...

Alex has a well established routine of going to sleep - so much so - that even Grandma Sandy did the routine on Friday night and he didn't even miss us! Here is how it goes:

1). Bath or hot tub, or neither
2). Night diaper and PJs
3). Brush teeth (first Alex brushes, then we help)
4). Turn on noisemaker - Alex does this
5). Climb into bed, get his lovey (Dog-Dog)
6). Drink a sippy of milk while reading books
7). Lights out, hugs and kisses
8). Take milk away and say "night-night" "I love you" "see you in the morning" etc
9). Walk out and close the door (use to be 7:30-8PM now it will be 8-8:30PM)

He doesn't even cry anymore.

We are remembering back to how it used to be with only a few hours of sleep before it was waking all night long every hour or so. I can't believe we did it! But, we are at the promised land! Sleep - glorious - Sleep.

Now - if we could just get him to wake up a little later in the mornings.... instead of 5AM...

The next challenge is putting him to sleep a little later to see if this helps.

Sleep training update

WE HAVE SUCCESS!

Alex slept through the night last night - until 6 AM. And went to sleep with just a few sounds, maybe 30 seconds!

Lance woke up this morning this morning at 5 AM and was surprised he didn't have to wake up!

We looked at each other and said - - -

"Did you have to wake up?"

"'Cause I didn't have to wake up!"

"You didn't wake up?"

"'Cause I didn't wake up, either!"


We'll see how tonight goes....

But, overall it really wasn't that bad. The first couple of nights were about 20-30 minutes of crying and some waking up at night. Then, he started figuring out what was happening and was very clingy and woke up a lot at night, but only took 5 minutes to go to sleep. We were doubting ourselves at this time wondering if we were ever going to get through this and if we were doing the right thing. Would he ever learn? Or are we just torturing him?

And then last night. We were so proud of him and told him how proud we are! He slept all night!

sleep training

Now that Alex has ear tubes, which solves the medical reason he wasn't sleeping we are officially trying to help Alex learn to get to sleep by himself, and when he wakes in the middle of the night, get back to sleep by himself.

This has been going on way too long. He wakes up constantly. I wouldn't even care if he slept with us, but the problem is that he doesn't sleep. He wiggles, kicks, slides his hands under your back, steals your pillow, and generally makes sure you don't get even a solid few hours of sleep.

So, I was taking care of another kid, Jackson, for a day while his parents were at a football game. The routine for nap time for him was easy. Milk, blankie, put in crib, say "night-night", turn on the noise maker, turn off the light and shut the door. They had a video monitor and I could see him put himself to sleep. I was amazed! I wanted that!

So, I've read some books, talked to other Mom's, and generally thought about how I want to do this.

We are instilling a routine (which we had before, but it wasn't the way we wanted it. I was bath, pj's, 2 books and milk, and lay with him until he falls asleep. Which could be 1 minute, or 45 minutes - here is our problem - takes forever and doesn't last that long since he'll be up again in about 1-2 hours). So, the new routine is as follows: bath, pj's, 2 books and milk, snuggle for a couple of minutes with lights on, snuggle for a couple of minutes with lights off and say "night-night" and walk out. We are telling him what is happening and what happens next at each stage, since he really understands what we are saying. We are checking in on him every 5-10-15 minutes if he is really crying. If he seems like he's going off to sleep, but just crying a bit - we leave him.

Saturday night was the first night and it took 30-40 minutes of crying for him to fall asleep. Much better than I expected. He woke up at 2AM, but only cried for 5 minutes. He woke up at 6:45AM and that was fine. We just got up.

What is really a role reversal is that Lance is the one who's having a hard time with it. I'm not. I'm committed and fully think this will help all of us. We have to sleep better, all of us. Alex, Lance and myself. I know it's tough to hear your baby cry, but we are giving it the good ol' college try. If after, 3 weeks it's not working then we'll try something else. Lance was the one who originally wanted him to sleep in his crib, now he wants to have him sleep with us. He was the one who wanted to sleep train him at 4 months old, I wasn't ready. But, I guess looking back - Lance wanted ME to do it. He followed my lead and he is following it today. It's still tough to hear your baby's voice cry for long periods (part of the reason I couldn't do it at 4 months since my hormones were sky high and I was sending my kid to daycare AND starting back to work - a little much don't you think?). The crying is the most difficult thing to listen too, especially when you can't swoop him up in your arms and make everything better.

But, life is tough. Life isn't always fair. Life is pain and suffering sometimes. And we all get through it. We WILL make it through this and we will all be sleeping much more in the future.

Move to own bed

About 4-6 weeks ago, we moved Alex to his own bed. It was after a particularly difficult night of moving, kicking, squirming, milk-drinking, that I decided it was time to make this big change. I was tired and I was just plain tired of being tired.

My Mom had suggested that he start taking naps in his own room (instead of our bedroom, our bed)and we had been doing that for a long while - so he was used to his own bed and his own room. Genius! What a fabulous idea - one that I'm glad I have my Mom here to be able to give me this sort of advice! And, I think this piece of advice laid the ground work for things going so easily.

The first night was a little rough and we were up 4-5 times comforting him back to sleep. But, the second night was only 2-3 and the third night only 1-2. It has gone so much easier than I ever imagined!

Last night, for instance....

He started looking sleepy around 8PM so we took a bottle up to his room, changed his diapers, put him in his pjs and closed the door. We have the window blocked off so it's very dark in his bedroom and the twin mattress is laying right on the floor (he has rolled off a couple of times, but luckily it's only inches to the floor). We lay down together - Alex and Mama or Daddy (but not both) - and he drinks his bottle. Daddy is really good at reading books, so sometimes they do this. Then it's lights out and he has been pretty good about falling asleep in about 15 minutes or so. He sometimes just lays there or puts his arms under the pillow or tosses and turns until comfortable.

He woke up around 11PM and just needed to be comforted back to sleep. He sometimes just stirs and makes cries out - but, we've realized he's not awake all the time when doing this. So, we let him really cry out to let us know he needs us or sometimes he just gets out of bed and walks into our bedroom and lets us know. He walked into our room and I got up and laid back down with him for 5 minutes and he was sound asleep until 5AM. He came into our room again and had a bottle of milk (usually has a bottle around 2AM, but we're not going to complain about the extra sleep!) and we slept we slept with him all together in our bed until we woke him up around 6:30 to go to daycare.

It makes those times we do get to sleep together again much more special.

At first, both Lance and I felt like we were ready, but the instant he was gone - we felt like something was missing. We were very ambivalent and didn't know if we made the right decision. We missed him and wondered what he was thinking. Yet - we were very tired and we knew that we made the right decision.

Overall, it has been good. We slept with our baby because that was what I felt was the right decision for me on the first night we brought him home from the hospital and it was right for a very long time. Now at 15 months - he is sleeping in his own bed, own room and it is working out nicely for all involved.

Slept.through.the.night

First.time.ever.

He went to sleep at 8:30pm and woke up at 6:00am.

Lance and I looked at each other this morning, looked at Alex, looked at each other with a question in our minds, looked at Alex again and wondered if we were just dreaming. "Did you get up last night?" "No, did you get up last night?"

He SLEPT through the night! And I mean really slept through the night, not the 5 hour straight definition of "sleep through the night".

11 months and 3 weeks old.

Sleep update and how Alex will seep in funny positions...

The update

I am feeling much better - funny how more sleep seems to bring you right back to life!

Lance is more sleepy since he takes care of Alex most nights between ~2am to 6 am

Alex is actually sleeping better!!! For 2 nights in a row and a few nights last week he has only woke around 1:30-2 am for a bottle and then back to sleep until 5-6am! This is HUGE progress and we are very excited. He did have 2 nights in there that were pretty hard, maybe due to teething or getting a cold, etc.

We are starting a nighttime routine (I know... I know... I should've done this months ago - but, it's difficult when I'm working, so tired and just want some time with my boy before he goes to sleep). 8:00-8:15 read with Dad, 8:15-8:30 snuggle with Mom, and nurse if he wants, with lights out ( boring- we've realized that when he gets bored - he can sleep like in the carseat). Hopefully fall asleep by 8:30. So far, 2 nights have worked wonderfully. I was getting really worried about how much he would sleep in any one day. ~9 hours at night, 45 mintutes x 2 to and from daycare, 30 minutes at daycare = ~11 hours. This is definately on the lower end of what babies his age usually sleep.

He has only been nursing at night to go to sleep, sometimes in the morning before he goes off to daycare - and that's it. It seems like the endless nighttime nursing is over. He does still seem hungry in the middle of the night, though, so we do still feed him one 5-6 oz bottle. It seems to knock him right out.

Now for the funny places Alex does pass out. He slept like this while Dad watched tv for about 1.5 hours.

Bottom line is that since Alex is sleeping better - I think we are all feeling better. Lance isn't feeling so sleepy, I'm not so sleepy and Alex is just his usual smiley social self at daycare (even though he only takes 30 min nap!)

Sleep

Tonight will be the 5th night of a new way of nighttime parenting in the Torgesen household.

Sharing

For 9 ½ months now, I have been doing most (99%?) of the nighttime work. My wonderful husband, Lance, has been there for me, though, when I needed it most and understood completely when I just, in the middle of the night with a crying baby in my arms, just hand him over and walk away without saying a word.

In a few words….

End.of.my.rope.

But, time to step up even further.

A new day has dawned. I’m there – at the end of my sleep rope and have realized a few things:

1). Alex isn’t getting ANY better at sleep and is, in fact, getting worse. There are many reason for this, but some could be teething, walking skills, reinforcement of waking up every few hours….
2). The lack of sleep is affecting me quite a bit at work (i.e. missing words in sentences, being in a fog all the time)
3). Although I love having Alex sleep with us, I’m ready for him to sleep longer (hopefully all night), but, if it takes moving him out – I am ready to do this.
4). Through any combination of nurture vs. nature – Alex needs to be touching a person to fall asleep and wakes every 1-3 hours for any number of reasons and needs parenting to get back to sleep.

So, like I said above - - - a new day has dawned.

Here’s the plan: Lance and I split the night. I was going for an every other night thing – but, Lance felt like he couldn’t deal with taking care of Alex for one whole night. Lance takes the first shift to sleep while I take care of Alex from 9PM-1:30AM and then Lance takes care of Alex and I sleep from 1:30-6AM.

I actually have to physically move to another room because me just being there means he will come to me and I won’t be able to sleep, Alex won’t learn a new way of sleeping and Lance won’t “volunteer” to take care of him.

When talking to his pediatrician this past week – she gave me advice on what she did when something similar was happening with her son who also slept with her. She would say to him “It’s dark outside and time to go to sleep – no nursing” and then roll over. The husband would have to settle the baby back down and she said it took about a week of doing this for it to work. Babies at this age understand more than you think. She said that before you know it her son slept longer and learned that it’s not OK to nurse all night and that night time was for sleeping.

I’m also worried about how much sleep he’s getting (let alone how much I’m getting!). Babies at his age should be sleeping 11-14 hours a day between night time and day time naps.

Well, our little mover maybe sleeps from 9PM to 6AM (9 hours) and most of the time takes naps in the car to and from daycare (30-45 min each way = 1-1.5hr) and sometimes 2-3 naps at daycare which seem to be 20-40 min long (40min-2hr). So, this equals ~11 hours on the short side to 12.5 hours on the long side. So, it seems like he might be getting enough sleep but, at night, waking up every 1-3 hours is killing me and can’t be good for him, either.

Little brains need lots of deep rest to grow. And Mama brains need rest to be able to work all day and bring home the bacon.

I’m not mad, angry or frustrated (which actually surprises me!) but I am ready for change. I need change, too. I need to sleep for some reasonable amount of hours per night and need to function better during the day. I need to sleep!

Lance is having to really step up and have some very different sleep than he has for the past 9 ½ months. I think he now knows how I can answer “I don’t know” to the question of “How many times did he get up last night?”

Uncountable.

But, hopefully getting better!

3 tired puppies

After a long night of waking an uncountable number of times - Lance snapped this shot of Alex, Mama and Bella all in bed.

Alex had crawled himself around and was facing the foot of the bed. Bella has weaseled her way into bed again and is now relegated to the bottom edge (often with a nose out of the covers) all with Mama squished in the middle.

sleeping is for chumps

Alex has had a hard time sleeping lately...unless it involves sleeping on his Daddy! He fell asleep 3 times yesterday on Lance and he enjoyed every minute of it! His theory is that Alex liked the 49ers fleece he was wearing because it was so soft and cuddly. It is so soft and cuddly because Lance wears it every weekend during football season.


Alex also likes his lovey (aka woobie). Its a little dog that we bought at wallybug (we bought two - one for daycare and one for home). Alex loves the little thing! He sometimes "sleep-sucks" on the dogs nose or ear. We also rotate the one at daycare so there are some fresh Mom smells to go with him each week.


What a cute sleeper! (when he does sleep!)